you are now finding the metaphor of drifting down a river to be insufficient. because there is a vertical direction to consider. flow was extremely important to you, but all. you created for her was stagnation and disappointment. there are reasons for you to do things, like have conversations with others. people have different viewpoints. some live in other cities. some of them are just eighteen years old. you feel that you have matured up to a point but not enough yet. in your gut, there is a diverse biome. you want to ask her to marry you. you want to fuck and hang out three days a week for eight weeks. you are going to float in another direction. it doesn’t matter what you want.